Playing with paint

I'm not a painter. I love paint. I love squirting paint straight on to my canvas and running a paint brush through the creamy blob. Or taking my fingers and smudging the paint around.

It's so much fun to mix colors and make new colors. It's fun to just go with it and see what colors mix when you run a brush across different colors of paint.

I messed around with oils once or twice maybe a year ago? But not really. This September I have launched into oil painting. Painting every day! It's scary, but oils are surprisingly forgiving. I'm not sure why I have always been intimidated by oils, because they are so much fun to play with.

My problem with painting is that I like control. I like crisp defined lines and a plan. That's probably a good thing... to start out with. But I need to be able to let go.

I started a painting of a hand. It turned out so much better than I thought it would. But it was only the beginning. I knew it needed more work, but I didn't know how to fix it or make it better. Therefore I was worried that if I changed it or did anything too it that it could end up worse rather than better.

But advice from a friend let me move forward. She said that there's no virtue in finishing a painting if it means turning it into something you like less just so that it's finished. I had recently painted a bunch of color and movement on a small canvas just to use of some leftover paint. I had no agenda, just throwing paint all over and seeing how it turned out. My friend pointed out that that painting had so much life and moment.

She suggested, and I agreed, that I should just go at it. So I squeezed paint right onto the canvas and used my fingers to mix colors and make patterns. And I had lots of fun just making bright and bold colors on my canvas.

But now the hand I had painted on one side was washed out and gray. But I hadn't known what to do with the hand anyway. The brightness of the new background allowed me to add some red highlights to the skin, and it warmed up the hand and allowed me to fix some of the shapes and lines on the hand.

It's still not perfect, but I am pleased with the outcome because I just played with the paint and let it do its thing.

I like painting because it lets me create and engage, and because it is a metaphor for life.

I need a plan, and maybe even crisp defined lines, and then I need to let go and just see where life takes me. I posted my painting to Facebook and this conversation ensued:

Friend (who had given me the initial encouragement to just go at it): I always paint best when I'm willing to let go and play. Let myself be a vessel for creating rather than the CREATOR. How surprising that it works

Me: Haha. So true. But letting go of the outcome hurts!

Yes, life, letting go of the outcome hurts. But it usually works out for the best!