What shall we eat the seventh year?

There are so many passages in the Word that remind us to trust. The Lord tells us so many times not to worry. He is leading us. He will take care of us. We're just supposed to listen and do what He says and things will work out for us. And yet, we worry. Which is probably why the Lord tells us SO many times not to.

Be not anxious for your soul, what you shall eat and what you shall drink; nor for your body, what you shall put on. Is not the soul more than food, and the body more than clothing? Matthew 6:25

Come to Me, all ye who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 

Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Luke 12:32

Let not your heart be disturbed, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27

Cast thy burden on Jehovah, And He shall sustain thee. Psalm 55:22

Yea, though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For Thou art with me. Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4

The day when I fear, I will trust in Thee. Psalm 56:3

And He doesn't just tell us to trust blindly. He also tells us what He will do for us too!

I don't doubt the Lord. I know that what He says is true, but it can be hard to feel it sometimes.

I was reading through Leviticus. Now, I don't know how familiar you are with Leviticus, but I remember as a child starting out at the beginning of the Word with excitement and I was gonna go right through and read it all. Genesis was full of stories and images and familiar things that I loved. Exodus too! Familiar, encouraging! The Ten Commandments! Yeah there are a few "begats" to get through. I remember glazing over for parts. And then I hit Levitcus and wondered what on earth happened to my narrative! Laws? I mean, I love the ten commandments, but these laws are so weird and not really that comprehensible to me. I get some of them, and which laws are still to be observed etc is a whole nother conversation.

So, Leviticus has always been a book to slog through. I gained some appreciation for it in college when I studied the Torah. I still think Leviticus 10 one of the coolest stories in the Word! But that's another blog post too.

Anyhow, this morning I came across the passage "What shall we eat in the seventh year?" and for whatever reason it really struck me!

In Chapter 25 we find more laws. And I'm reading along about when to sew your vineyards and your fields and when you can harvest them and that every 7th year is a sabbath year, which means that you neither gather the harvest nor plant for the following year. When I first started reading the chapter I wasn't really thinking about the fact that they wouldn't have food if they weren't allowed to harvest it. And then along comes verse 20: "What shall we eat the seventh year? behold, we shall not sow, nor gather in our increase."

And for some reason that verse just really struck me and I'm not entirely sure why! And then what follows:  "Then I will command My blessing upon you in the sixth year, and it shall make increase for three years. And you shall sow the eighth year, and eat yet of the old increase until the ninth year; until her increase come in you shall eat of the old."

I hadn't even thought about the fact that one year of no work meant two years without food. No food the current year, and none the year after cause they didn't plant for it.

But the Lord always has a solution.

"My blessing upon you in the sixth year."

I think this is what really struck me in this story. The Lord provides for us. Well duh!

Well duh! And here I'm going off on a limb because this story is talking about a very orderly process where the Lord asks us to take a sabbath and He provides for the future, but He also provides for us when the famine and lack is of our own doing. He is ALWAYS providing for us and trying to help us.

Saying that God allows something to happen does not mean that He wants it to happen but that He cannot prevent it because of His goal, which is our salvation. . . . [Divine providence] is constantly focused on its goal; so that every moment of its work, at every single step of its course, when it notices that we are straying from that goal it leads and turns and adapts us in accord with its laws, leading us away from evil and toward good. . . . This cannot be accomplished without allowing bad things to happen. (Divine Providence 234)

So yeah, I know the story in Leviticus is talking about something a little different, but nevertheless it reminded me of this idea that the Lord is constantly providing for us and leading us and turning us toward good and bringing good out of all the situations!

And here's the thing that was really exciting to me! He doesn't just fix our blunders after we make them, or walk along beside us fixing them as we go. I mean, He does do that. He is right beside us always, helping us course correct, but the point is that He foresaw everything, and prepared us ahead of time for what would come after.

"My blessing upon you in the sixth year."

I remember when my brother got a lacerated spleen it was really upsetting to me. I don't remember why it was so scary even when I knew it would be fine. But I was really upset and a friend said to me "You know that the Lord prepared you for this before it happened, right?"

And it hadn't occurred to me. I know He is always there, and ready to step in and help us overcome anything, but He was there before.

"Before I formed thee in the womb, I knew thee." Jeremiah 1:5 

Broken.

It has been an emotional couple of days. I wrote about the burden of joy a few days ago, and then continued on to have a lovely weekend full of friends and good food. Kempton for autumn weekends. Riding an old timey train with some excited and cute niecephews. Lots of fantastic times with friends and family.

Monday was rougher. I heard some hard news about a child I used to babysit. She is one of the cutest children and I spent most of Monday unable to keep myself from crying. My eyes sting today with the pain of yesterday's tears.

I'm supposed to be working on another article but I cannot focus. I love writing and I hate editing. I like the freedom of a blog post for writing about anything. No theme. No thesis, but bumbling thoughts with no plan. I never edit my blog posts, other than occasionally glancing over for typos.

I hate that life has to be hard. One thing going wrong makes me feel a fear in all areas of life. Everything is up in the air and trust goes out the window. I want to say that one bad thing doesn't makes me trust the Lord less, but the feeling on my heart 3 days ago was peace and confidence in Him, and I still trust Him, but I don't feel very peaceful about it. It's not begrudging confidence, it's just not peaceful and happy.

And it makes me fear every possible thing. So, that's not really trust, is it?

I guess I'm ashamed to say that one child being sick makes my trust in the Lord falter. That's not something I care to admit, even just to myself, so here I am, processing my feelings on my blog, and admitting them to you, and figuring this out for myself at the same time.

I don't even want to write it, but today, if I'm really examining the thoughts rattling around in my head, I don't trust the Lord today. I don't hear Him, and I don't think His plan is safe.

Oof! What a thing to admit! What a broken lack of confidence! But writing takes honesty. Examining and recognizing these thoughts is the only way to get back to Him.

And of course, I know that the bad things are NOT His plan, but today I am hating freedom. I am hating that spiritual freedom allows innocent people to be harmed.

And that is not trust. It is doubting His eternal plan. It is doubt. It is fear. It is frustration and pain.

In September I wrote about wishing to trade places with others or wishing I could take their pain away, even if it meant taking it on myself, and I feel the same today.

It's cliche, but all I can think is that it's not fair. It doesn't make sense, and I am done with hell attacking people I love. I want to protect, and I just can't. It's too much. There is no solution.