Morning Musings in the air.

"Life" I breathed, taking my first sip of coffee. It was before 5am, and I had spent too long in line for security for a random Wednesday morning in early November.


Strangers in the airport speak to one another during a shared experience, like a longer than expected security line. Two ladies with the same destination as me offered to let me follow them to the gate. A ind gesture for 4:30am, pre-coffee humans. They even wait for me as I get my shoes on after security.


"Right here? Right here? Right here? Right here?" repeated the small girl as she walked with her father past every single seat on the aircraft.

"I think you're in my seat," says the lady in front of me to the gentleman in her seat. He laughs comfortably at his mistake, as do the people around him.

The last passenger in our row appears: window seat. She apologizes profusely. The gentleman on the aisle is as kind as can be as we both move to let her in.

People smile. Everyone is surprisingly cheerful for so early in the morning.

The two sisters behind me, traveling with their kids, are chagrined as the two-year-old on and off screams his way through the flight. When we land, she books it for the door, leaving her sister to get the rest of the kids and all of their bags. Both ladies apologize for the noise. You can tell people are not thrilled, but are still very patient and everyone is kind.

Morning Drivel

Nothing like early morning airport runs to get the mind going. Actually, on a Friday morning, even at 5:30am, the traffic isn't very pretty and so a lot of energy goes into navigating merging and other drivers' questionable choices. It's not really a reflective time. But I've been awake for over 3 hours and don't have time to nap before work so why not write something on my neglected blog? At this hour, on this fuzzy brain it will either be boring drivel or I'll stumble upon something brilliant that my mind can't comprehend. I'm betting on the former, but who knows? Monkeys haven't yet typed the complete works of William Shakespeare, right? So maybe there's no basis for believing that I could stumble upon some wisdom. Though I do hope that I am somewhat more advanced than a monkey with a typewriter.

Speaking of the Shakespeare, some of my cool friends are doing The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, abridged. It's going to be hilarious, and it's Shakespeare so it's also going to be off-color so probably don't bring your kids. But bring yourself because it's hilarious. I read it and even reading it on my own I laughed aloud. I couldn't say "laughed out loud" because then everyone just thinks "lol" which essentially means "oh, mildly funny." But this is actually funny. Spoiler alert, they do Hamlet in 5 minutes, and also less. They do the complete works in an hour and a half! (Link for more info!)

Anyhow, what was I saying? Oh, nothing. Right. I am writing for the sake of writing and I don't have anything profound to say so I'll continue on with my pointless drivel. 

I like Kempton. I like my niecephews. I like the cute childrens who aren't even my niecephews. I like rainstorms. I like crisp fall air with those piercing blue skies. 

I just found out that there are people who actually like humidity. I mean, I have heard of people who tolerate it and manage to enjoy summer despite it. I can understand that... a little. But some people only like moist heat. I, on the other hand, can only stand dry heat. I love dry heat. I loved California! Humidity is most foul. Apparently some people like it. Some people like fish too. 

I still haven't killed very much time. I guess I shouldn't kill time. It's handy stuff and I could move on to painting or just go to work early. P.S. I love painting.

Coffee and my journal (which I did not paint)

Ramblings, scattered mind

Today there are too many things to write.

I want to write about the ocean. Sitting on the beach in the morning and listening to the sound of the waves. It's one of the most peaceful things on earth and I love it.

But I also want to write about childhood and the little things that stick in your heart.

Speaking of sticking in your heart, I also want to write about hearts and feeling heard.

Also, I wrote it a while ago, but today my article was published on New Christian Woman. It's really cool to see my article resonating with others. Not even to feel that solidarity in "Oh there are others!" but to know that my article helped someone else feel heard is powerful!

I'm also feeling crazy and sporadic today cause I'm trying to figure out a lot of travel plans. I bought my bus ticket and talked to all the right people about arranging rides and everything. I just have one leg of the journey still to figure out. And I'm also looking toward Thanksgiving travel plans and the Christmas pageant because someone just sent me an email about figuring out the live animals for that. So there's just so much on my mind and so I'm feeling kinda pulled a bunch of different directions and unable to focus on just one thing. So here I am rambling boring thoughts onto my blog. I wanted to write something worthwhile today. Oh well.

Things I have to do

Today I got a late start. It took me forever to do one Duolingo lesson and I just didn't feel like getting up and moving today. I don't feel tired or sluggish. I think I feel a little disappointed and I have no idea why.

Dang! I just noticed that duolingo just autocorrected to dueling, and I now I wish I was taking dueling lessons! That would get me out of bed in the morning!!

Anyhow, I am now at Starbucks. I have a to do list. Hoping I get to it all:

Text niece about birthday
Write blog entry
Write article
Go grab some things at Weis

I slept fine. It took me too long to fall asleep but then I slept fine. I had two dreams. One, I was directing tableaux. There were lots of people standing on chancel and I was talking to a few people in the nave. A very sweet lady I met at Contra was speaking to the children about reverence and I was just in awe of her direction. I was determined to get her on the team for next year.

Apparently tableaux consume my mind year round. I don't really mind. I love Christmas, and I love thinking about the reality of the Christmas story. I think it hits me every year that it is a real story. How real Joseph was and his role in the whole Christmas story.

Anyhow, I'm really excited for Christmas!

I now cannot remember what the second dream was. I texted my niece. I remembered I also have to text my sister in law about this weekend. Now on to my next blog post.

Looking toward the shore

There is nothing more lovely than sitting on the beach in the early morning, hearing nothing but the Lord’s wind and waves. I love that peace. I often sit with His Word. Sometimes just holding it for a while, feeling prayers before I open and read.

The beach is my favorite place to be alone. I just want to sit in the near perfect silence with only the roar of the waves, the morning birds and the breeze. I hear the Lord’s voice in the roaring of the waves and I picture looking out over the waves at my Human God, holding out His arms, welcoming me into His embrace.

There is nothing so perfect as that morning peace… unless it be holding a baby. Picking up a sad child and having her nestle into you arms in comfort, and immediately fill your arms and heart. That soft puddingy weight as they melt into your arms in trust.

I don’t like comparing myself to my Savior God, or putting myself in His place, and yet we are meant to emulate Him. And He compares Himself to a mother hen gathering in her chicks. He IS our Father. So wondering at the tiniest bit of what He must feel when we come to Him must not be too bad.

The open arms over the sea inviting me in. I long for that feeling of comfort that an innocent child feels when they melt into the safety of someone’s loving arms; the feeling in my heart when a baby’s head rests against it.

I wonder if I will ever feel that safety and that comfort and that sense of belonging; to feel completely safe with someone, to feel that deep feeling of peace.

I think the closest I come is when I am kneeling at the Holy Supper railing in the cathedral, very close to the open Word, tasting the bread and the wine, feeling the Lord’s hands on my head as I hear the words “The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face to shine upon you. The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace.” The words are whispered to me in a promise, and for that moment I feel the Lord’s love on my heart, and I believe in everything that He promises me. I feel safe, loved, wanted, needed. In short, I feel like a real human, created in the image and likeness of God.

I wish I felt that more often. I wish I could hold on to that feeling.

It’s unlovely and scary, but I guess the way for Holy Supper to feel lasting is to examine myself more, and remove the evils standing in my way. Repentance is the way to the Lord.

“The saying of God came to John the son of Zacharias in the wilderness. And he came into all the countryside of Jordan, preaching the baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins, as it is written in the book of the words of Isaiah the prophet, saying, The voice of one crying in the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the Lord; make His paths straight.” Luke 3:2-4

It is through repentance that we prepare the way for the Lord in our lives. I can approach Him, and feel close in the Holy Supper, but it won’t be a lasting feeling of living in Him unless I choose to actually live my life in Him, and that is only possible through repentance.