Avoidance and Major Ramblings

I can avoid anything if I want to. I am very good at avoiding the work that I need to get done. I need to write today. Maybe I want to, but part of me really doesn't. But it's November, and I want to write. I need to write an article, and I need to write sketches for the novel I'm working on.

But it's easier to avoid these things.

It's easier to avoid everything.

I'm staring at my nearly empty desk. It's Author's Day, apparently.

Am I an author? Will I ever be an author? When I look at my writing I am sure that it is not good enough and I have so much to improve. This thought should be inspiring, but today it is depressing:

If I am not good enough, whose fault is that but my own? The only way that I will get good at writing is to write.

But for some reason I have no motivation today. I am wondering what the point of it all is? Why do anything?

Do you believe in spoilers? I hate spoilers. I hate knowing how things are going to end or what thing might happen in the middle. I like guessing and wondering at it, and if I know what's gonna happen my motivation dies.

It's weird, cause there are books that I love to read over and over again, even though I know how it's going to end, but if the first time through someone tells me some big plot point I get really upset and sometimes don't finish the book. Maybe that's a fault of mine that I need to work on.

Maybe I like suspense, though I hate thrillers.

Maybe I am just rambling because I am trying to avoid my actual writing for today and avoid my thoughts.

Are there spoilers for life? If you KNOW that you are going to get a job would that change how you approach it? Would you be so confident that you would ace the interview or whatever? Or would you not even show up for the interview because you KNOW you are going to get it no matter what?

It's a silly hypothesis because we cannot know the future. We cannot and we should not.

"The opposite of faith is not doubt, it's certainly." There is some debate on the internet about who said this quote. I'm sure I could figure it out, but who said it isn't important to me right now.

The Lord is the only one who Knows anything. Not we ourselves, not anyone. The Lord is the only one who knows, and we must continually approach Him to have a chance at knowing anything for ourselves.