Look Into Each Other's Eyes.

Sometimes you put everyone else's needs and desires above your own. And sometimes you do it for so long and so often that you feel entitled to putting your own needs first for awhile.

I think that's a mistake. We are never entitled to putting ourself above others. There's no conversion chart for being nice for so long and then being allowed to store up on selfishness.

Yes there are moments when you have to take care of yourself. But there is a thin line where it becomes selfishness.

That thin line is a scary thing.

I have to stand up for myself. I have to hold my ground. I can't let myself be walked on or used or drained. But when does walling up inside become selfishness?

My calendar has gorgeous photos and often twippy little saying to go along with: "Be gentle with yourself and be gentle with others. Remember, you are all souls on a human journey, with lessons to learn along the way. Look into each other's eyes and see the innocent child that dwells within. Let compassion be your touchstone and your creed."

Compassion is something I have really resonated with for years. I mean, everyone strives for compassion, right? I hope so, anyway.

Several years ago I was reading Exodus chapter 2, the story of Pharaoh's daughter finding Moses. In verse 6 it says: "And she opened [the basket], and saw him, the child; and behold the boy was weeping. And she had compassion on him, and said, This is from the children of the Hebrews."

I was immediately struck by this because I definitely have a strong reaction to babies crying. I always want to hold the baby and take care of it. Sometimes to a fault where I just want to take the baby from its mother. Not because I don't think the mother can handle it, but because if a baby is crying I just want to hold it!

But there is more to this verse. In the Heavenly Doctrine for the New Church, it explains the deeper meaning to this verse:

"And she had compassion on him. That this signifies admonition from the Divine, is evident from the signification of "having compassion," as being an influx of charity from the Lord; for when anyone from charity sees another in misery (as here Pharaoh's daughter saw the child in the ark of rush and weeping), compassion arises; and as this is from the Lord, it is an admonition. Moreover, when they who are in perception feel compassion, they know that they are admonished by the Lord to give aid." Arcana Coelestia 6737

I read this years ago and that last line has always stuck with me. "Admonished by the Lord to give aid."

This applies to more than crying infants. I see a friend hurting and my heart aches. I want to reach out to them as Pharoah's daughter did to Moses. It is my dream to nurture people. I feel called by the Lord to give aid. But I don't always know how to follow through on a calling. I am often crippled (as I've said many times before on this blog) by perfection. If I don't know how to do a thing right, I won't even try, and that is not what the Lord wants.

But the truth is, having compassion is vulnerable. As my calendar said, "Look into each other's eyes." It is vulnerable and sometimes draining to take on someone else's sorrow, or even their joys! Compassion is a hard thing to balance. I am still learning how to care.