I am meditating again on the story of the prodigal son. It is a familiar story to many. Even many non church goers know the basics: The extravagant squanderer returns home.
Sometimes I feel a little cliche or even guilty that some of my favorite stories from the Word or favorite passages are so common. But there's nothing wrong with that. They are favorites to many for a reason!
"When he had spent all, there arose a strong famine throughout that country, and he began to be lacking. And he went and joined himself to one of the citizens of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he longed to fill his belly from the husks which the swine did eat; and no one gave to him." (Luke 15: 14-16)
Years ago my friends and I started saying "Don't feed pigs" to each other. Which was sort of a way of saying "Don't settle. The Lord has more planned for you. Don't give up on yourself. Don't beat yourself up." And that's an important thing for people to tell you. "You are worth more than many sparrows." Nevertheless, feeding pigs was an important part of this man's journey. When you have nothing and realize that you could at least work for someone, somewhere, then that's a good start.
The first thing is to realize that you are starving, spiritually. "He longed to fill his belly."
"And when he came to himself he said, How many hirelings of my father have an excess of bread, but I perish with hunger! Standing up I will go to my father, and will say to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son; make me as one of thy hirelings." (17-19)
Once you realize that you are starving you decide to return to the Lord. You know what? that's pretty humiliating. When I screw up, the last people I want to go back to are the people I failed. But humble is exactly what we need to be.
I remember once thinking "If the Lord knew how badly I screwed up He wouldn't want me." But at the same time thinking that if I told a close friend the extent of my wrong doings she would still love me and help me back. That's when I remembered that the Lord is of course more loving and merciful than anyone else anywhere! But because of His power and glory it is WAY scarier to approach Him with my evil. I find it a lot safer to confide in a mere mortal of a friend. But that is why Jehovah God came on earth. So that He could conquer the hells as a human and by taking on this world as Jesus Christ He saved us. He fought every evil that we could ever face. That is what He did for us.
And now comes my favorite part of the story: "And he stood up and came to his father. And being yet a distance away, his father saw him and had compassion, and running, fell on his neck and kissed him." (20)
Can you imagine coming back and seeing your father's house in the distance, or maybe even seeing him and becoming paralyzed? I picture this scenario often. I hate adding anything to the text of the Word. But my picture of returning to the Lord is taking those steps to return to Him, getting just close enough and getting so afraid. I picture sitting down on a hillside and seeing His house in the distance. Lit up and welcoming, but the welcome is what makes me afraid. I'd rather just come back and blend in with the others and not have a big fuss. And I am terrified of seeing my Father's face.
And that is why I love this passage so much: "And being yet a distance away, his father saw him and had compassion, and running, fell on his neck and kissed him."
It is up to us to make the journey back to the Lord, and if we do He comes running out to meet us, and embraces us, and kisses us.
Could we make the last few steps of that journey without Him running out to meet us? Of course not. The truth of the matter is that we can't make any of that journey without Him, and yet nevertheless it is on us to take those steps, even if we don't feel Him. To get close enough that He can run out to meet us. And bring us back in.
"We ought to be merry and rejoice, because this thy brotherwas dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found." (32)
Approaching the Lord is such a huge part of our lives, and it can be desperately scary to come near to Him because our evil is so diametrically opposed to Him. So it hurts to be near the Lord, which doesn't make sense. Shouldn't He be goodness and warmth and comfort? He is all those things and more. Our discomfort is entirely our own, and yet it is a necessary part of regeneration.
Despite our fear and pain, no, because of it, He wants us to come to Him, and He will run to meet us.
"Let the little children come to Me, and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of God." (Luke 18:16)
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