Actions and motives

Is blogging unhealthy for me?

Sometimes I feel like blogging is a great outlet for me to verbally process things that might otherwise me spewed at someone's ears. I love writing and figuring out my thoughts through writing. I also love verbal processing and just talking through my thoughts.

These are both really useful for me. But how egocentric are they? I think I worry too much, but sometimes it's good to be aware of my selfish tendencies so that I can shun them.

I write for myself. Plain and simple I need an outlet to write and so I get on my blog and start rambling, and sometimes I hit upon something deep and I do hope that my thoughts could be of use to someone else. But too often I hope that they will be useful for someone else... so that they can understand ME better.

Do I want people to read my blog because I think it will be helpful to them or to me? Do I paint so that other people can admire me and my talents or so that I can bring life and joy to other people?

I definitely overanalyze. Usually after a little "Argh! I'm selfish. Who am I doing this for? What's the point of this or that?" I just step back and think: Is it the right thing to do? Am I serving the Lord? Am I repenting? Am I becoming a better person or a more selfish one? Am I following the Lord? And I doing the right thing?

It is important to notice our motives, but most of all it is important to notice our actions and if the actions are good and moral we should do them, even if we ARE doing them for fame, glory, praise or whatever.

Sure, sometimes we need to take a break from certain actions if we can't find a way to change our motives.

I shouldn't write and write and write and become more self centered and evil as I go, even if somehow my writing IS useful to others. But the real deal is that if I were not working on myself and shunning evils in my life my writing would become worse and worse and less interesting or meaningful to others.

So, long story short, I should keep writing because I think it is useful. And I should continue to examine my motives and shun evils as sins against the Lord.