It is not good that man should be alone

The Lord God, Creator of the universe, designed it such that people are supposed to be teamed up to take on the world together.

People are not meant to be alone. Men are not meant to be alone and women are not meant to be alone. The Lord intends for everyone to find a teammate along the way. 

"For this cause shall a man leave father and mother and cleave until his wife and they shall be one flesh." Genesis 2:24

So why are some people alone? Freedom is the obvious answer. If the Lord wanted it to be so, He could just make it so that every person found their partner and lived happily ever after. But He values our freedom above our happiness and even our salvation. He allows us to make choices so that we can choose Him in freedom, and choose each other in freedom.

Now that isn't to say that the single people of the world have freely chosen this path. Some have chosen to be single, sure. But that's not why I'm single. And I'm sure there are a lot of other people who would choose to be married if they could.

So what went wrong? Why are there people who want marriage and are not married? Something went wrong, right? I don't like to think of single people as lesser people. The Lord loves everyone. Single people aren't entitled to less of His love, but do they perhaps feel it less? And plain and simple are they as happy and fulfilled?

That the state of marriage is to be preferred is because this state exists from creation; because its origin is the marriage of good and truth; because its correspondence is with the marriage of the Lord and the Church; because the Church and conjugial love are constant companions; because its use is more excellent than the uses of all else in creation, for thence is the propagation of the human race according to order, and also of the angelic heaven, this being from the human race. Add to this, that marriage is the fullness of man; for by its means man becomes a complete man. (Conjugial Love 156)

Yep. Confirmed. Marriage is the best. So why do some people not get to be part of that? And to be entirely blunt, why do some people not get to be complete?

Later in CL 156:

That from creation there was implanted in man and woman an inclination to conjunction as into a one, and also the faculty thereof, and that these are in man and woman still, is evident from the Book of Creation and at the same time from the Lord's words. In the Book of Creation, which is called Genesis, we read:

Jehovah God built the rib which He had taken from man into a woman, and brought her to the man. And the man said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; her name shall be called Ishah [woman], because she was taken out of Ish, man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh. Gen. II. 22-4. 

[2] From these passages it is evident that woman was created out of man, and that there is in both an inclination and a faculty of reuniting themselves into a one. That the reunion is into one man is also evident from the Book of Creation where both together are called Man; for we read, In the day that God created man, male and female created He them, and called their name Man. It is said here, He called their name Adam, but in the Hebrew language, Adam and Man are the same word.

So, it's clear to me that the ideal state is the married state. And if it's ideal, it's what the Lord hopes for for all of us. And yet He will not take away our freedom and just grant us that marriage. So I circle back around: Why do some people who are following the Lord and His Word get to be married and other people do not?

I think to some degree we do put marriage on too high a pedestal. Someone created a lot of external trappings that distract from real marriage and the purpose of weddings and marriage. The bride is important, the groom is important, the friends, the ceremony and the party are important. The Lord is essential, and everything else is not important. But this is a rant I should probably not go into now.

Marriage is special. Marriage is ideal, and just because some of the ideas surrounding it have been completely misused and abused does not negate the importance and use of marriage. And I think that's one of the reasons I care so much about marriage, and being married myself: I want to reclaim marriage and use it for what it's for and to build and create something that is so valuable to the Lord.

And part of me knows that I can work on my marriage and serve marriages in this world without myself being married to another person, but it seems like much harder work. And I know that marriage is hard work too, but there's a reason the Lord planned us to have partners, so no matter how many times people tell me of ways that I too can be working toward marriage and supporting marriage it doesn't seem like a real and whole thing to do with my life.

I love supporting marriages, and supporting my single friends in their hopes for future marriages. I love taking care of children and spending time with families and doing as much as I can to love and care for marriage. It's a start, but it only feels like a start. And starting out is often the hardest part. And a perpetual start can be exhausting.

"It is not good that man should be alone."