Past joys and future battles

Why can't things go back to the way they were? I think I say this often, and so do others. But the truth is that life will never be the same as it was.

It reminds me of a line from one of my favorite movies:

"Try as we might, happy as we were, we can't go back." Margaret Hale (North and South)

I probably think about this too much. We're not supposed to live in the past, and that's a good thing. We're supposed to keep moving forward.

We're not supposed to live in the past, but we're not supposed to live in the future either. And it should be easier to take one day at a time so why must I invest so much in trying to fight all the battles at once?

I think it's because I want to make my life easier. So I try to do things now that will limit the hurt and fear in the future... by taking it on now... but I will always have a future that I want to make brighter so if I am always trying to make the future better my life will always be too busy to enjoy. I think we all know this and it's an oft repeated idea, and yet I know that I constantly need the reminder that there's plenty to worry about now without borrowing from the future. A friend recently shared this with me, and I laughed and then cried.

I really just have one battle but it affects all of my life. And, for better or for worse, I refuse to put it back.