If someone rams you in the supermarket with their shopping cart, whether deliberate or not, you're gonna react to that. You don't have to yell at them, and even if you remain calm and say it's okay or whatever, you might still be fuming inside.
In some sense by not dwelling on it you can change your emotional state. If someone rams you with their cart you can choose to let it go and think about other things.
A few weeks ago someone honked loudly and impatiently at me in a parking lot. I wasn't doing anything wrong, but my heart still beat more rapidly and I could have been very upset, but I thought back to half an hour earlier when I saw a friend unexpectedly and he gave me a much needed hug. That hug drew me out of being honked at and I didn't have to dwell on the upset I could have felt. I drove on, hoping that person's day got better.
So, it is possible to change your emotional state, but it's hard.
If someone is late, if a loved one disappoints you, if someone assumes you're incompetent, if, if if! There are so many scenarios where I have an immediate gut reaction to something that can leave a painful sting. For days!
I wish I could turn off certain emotions, or be better at turning away from them and dwelling on other things. But when every where you turn brings stinging feelings that's not a good day. The hells have you in their grasp, finding discontentment everywhere.
There is no solution.
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