I Won't Write A Letter

If you want to get a swing fixed in Ramsett Park you might start a letter writing campaign. Maybe knowing that there are a lot of people inconvenienced by this would hurry up the process of getting it fixed. That's a reasonable request and maybe a use for letter writing campaigns.

But, let's just say that having no swings in Ramsett Park were divinely ordained. It wouldn't matter how many letters were sent in. If the rule was no swings, it doesn't matter how many people are inconvenienced by the lack of swings. If say 50 people wrote saying that they wanted a swing in the park, and no one wrote saying that they did not want swings in the park it might look like a lot of people wanted a swing in the park. But why would someone write in to say that they didn't want swings in the park if there were no swings in the park? Also, if God said no swings in the park, and even if everybody in the town did want swings in the park would you really want someone to bow to your wishes to provide swings in the park?

I think maybe I would just go to a different park.

Some people might say "Look, if you don't want swings in the park, just don't swing on them." But that's not the point. If God said no swings in the park I wouldn't want swings in the park.

If the people who maintained the park believed in the park rules, it shouldn't matter what letters they received. Even if hundreds and hundreds of letters poured in telling them they really wanted swings in the park, and no one wrote to them saying "Hey, I'm cool with there being no swings in the park!" that shouldn't matter. Do the park rules matter or not?

I mean, I guess maybe we could change the park rules? Maybe they're only guidelines and if enough people wanted to change the park rules that would be a good idea. After all, maybe the park rules were written a long time ago and times have changed. Oh wait, did we establish that the park rules were directly from God? Hmm, I guess we don't really have the authority to change them then.

I wouldn't want the park people being persuaded by letters of any kind. I will not be writing a letter to the park people, because my opinion doesn't matter. Because it's an opinion. Also, I don't care if my opinion is heard. Because it's an opinion. The Park Rules aren't gonna change, no matter how many letters anyone writes.

But also, if you want to write a letter telling someone how much you love the park there's nothing wrong with that.

Stop worrying about how many people are coming to the park. Adhere to the park rules and all will be well. I trust the park people. I believe that they are doing their best to follow the park rules.

And really? I trust the Lord. It's really gonna be fine because He's got this. No matter what, He's got this.

The Affirmative Principle

Does the Word have some sort of expiration date I didn't know about? A best used by but maybe could still be okay for a little bit after just not as good? Like food, does it become unhealthy to consume after a certain point?

Why would the Lord write something that would go out of date? After the Lord's first coming the old testament did not expire. 

Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill. Matthew 5:17

Even after the Lord's second coming, the old and new testaments are not to be thrown out or disregarded. The Lord's Word is never going to be unhealthy. If we are allergic to it that is not because there is something wrong with it that needs to be changed. We can't substitute gluten free doctrine just so we don't react poorly to it. Of course we have sensitivities to the Word! It is not going to sit right with us, because we are not right!

And I went unto the angel, and said unto him, Give me the little book. And he said unto me, Take it, and eat it up; and it shall make thy belly bitter, but it shall be in thy mouth sweet as honey. Revelation 10:9

The only way to approach the Word is to assume that the Lord is telling us the truth. That He is not misleading us or gave us some kind of Where's Waldo where we have to look through it for something we recognize.

There are therefore two principles; one of which leads to all folly and insanity, and the other to all intelligence and wisdom. The former principle is to deny all things, or to say in the heart that we cannot believe them until we are convinced by what we can apprehend, or perceive by the senses; this is the principle that leads to all folly and insanity, and is to be called the negative principle. The other principle is to affirm the things which are of doctrine from the Word, or to think and believe within ourselves that they are true because the Lord has said them: this is the principle that leads to all intelligence and wisdom, and is to be called the affirmative principle. Arcana Coelestia 2568:4

I'm not saying that understanding the Word is easy. But it's easier if you assume that is is right. The hardest thing we have to do in life is make decisions. Decisions are really hard, man! My last blog post was about how marriage is the opposite of dating. One of the things that makes marriage SO much better than dating is it's one less decision to make. With dating you have to figure out a HUGE decision: Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this human? With marriage the answer is always yes. You have already made the hardest decision. But it's made. All you have to do now is make a million more decisions, but that one is set in stone.

The same goes for reading the Word. If you constantly have to be wondering if the Lord actually means what He says then it's exhausting hard work. Just assume that He knows what He's doing. AND He knew what He was doing a couple thousand years ago when He told people to write down His Word. Our problems aren't new. He even knew about every single thing we're facing in 2018, and He wrote about it a long time ago. And it's still active and living today. There is no expiration date on the Truth.

Stop dating the Word. Be committed to it. It makes life so much easier if you do.

Dating is the Opposite of Marriage

It's funny how people say that dating is good practice for marriage. Well, I dunno, maybe people don't say that anymore. But seriously, teenagers don't need to be dating. The only point of dating is to find out if you could marry the other person. Not to find out what type of person you like or are compatible with. Not to just have fun. The purpose of dating is getting to know someone with the intention of marrying them if things work out.

But it really is the opposite of marriage. So I'm gonna use gambling as an analogy for dating. Relationships are not roulette. It's not chance. It's not random. There's a plan. But there's also the problem of throwing in good money after bad. When you've invested a certain amount of time into a person it can feel like you just have to make it work out. You have to stick with it and fix it even if things aren't working. But the truth is that there is zero real commitment. If things aren't working they don't have to. 

You gotta know when to hold them,
Know when to fold them,
Know when to walk away, know when to run.

I'm not saying it's easy to know what's worth holding on to, but there is always the option to fold.

With marriage there is not. And I think that often people get used to dating and then breaking up when things aren't going well, and then thinking that that's how marriage works too. With marriage you're all in. There's no folding once you have a winning hand.

Dating is stressful. Marriage can be stressful, but the nice thing is that the decision has already been made. You're still figuring stuff out, but you're not figuring out if it can work but how it can work better and better.

Marriage is forever. Thank goodness dating is not!

13 Drafts

I have 13 drafts on my blog. Because once again I have decided I can't publish a post without it being meaningful and thought provoking. The problem is that I have lots I want to say but I keep not saying it right so I don't write anything. Cause that's the way to get better at anything; thinking in your brain about how everything has to be perfect before action.

So I have discovered that I suck at taking action. Whether it be writing, practicing ukulele, drawing, painting, or any number of things. It's easier to think about it than actually do it. And I don't want to get things wrong so I overthink and underact.

Thinking IS useful. And reading and gathering information, even when it doesn't always feel that way.

I read the Word every day, but I don't often feel like I'm learning anything. I'm also reading TCR and while it can be mind-blowing and inspiring to read, I don't often feel like there is actionable stuff in it for me. When I brought this up at a doctrinal class our minister pointed out that what we are doing is building a framework that everything else rests on and he compared it to med-school where students learn about every aspect of the human body and while a lot of it is not going to be practical information it is nevertheless building a framework for all the hands-on stuff they will be doing.

It made me think of this passage from Matthew Chapter 22:37-40:

And Jesus said to him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God in thy whole heart, and in thy whole soul, and in thy whole mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang the whole Law and the Prophets.

I have known, from my childhood that I am supposed to love the Lord and the neighbor. But HOW does one love the Lord and the neighbor? That is where everything else comes in. And everything in the Word and Heavenly Doctrine is teaching us how to love the Lord and each other. It is a complex web of knowledge that keeps getting added to. It is an ever growing framework.

Another biblical analogy would be a tree. The roots, the branches and the leaves are useful, but the Lord tells us to bear fruit. We must have the knowledge or the branches for the fruit to grow on.

I love studying the Word, even when I don't get it all at once. If I did, I guess I wouldn't have to read it again. It is living. It is constant.

A Brief Summary

What is happening?! I haven't written in forever and this is only my second blog post in May and it's the 24th! Craziness! Also, the blog post I published in May was mostly written in April. Wow.

I was giving it some thought. It was making me sad, like I don't have time for blogging and that's not cool, but I think it's okay because it means instead of writing about life happening, life IS happening.

I went to Belgium, and also The Netherlands, Germany, and France! All for the first time (unless you count a layover in the Munich airport 10 years ago). Almost immediately upon arriving home from Europe I went to Canada. I've lost track of how many times I've been to Canada, but that was a fun and busy trip. So busy I didn't have time for a blog post or a nap.

Just popping up to Canada to help take care of my niecephews. It was a busy time and upon arriving I felt like the evil dictator aunt who waltzes in and just starts issuing orders! It took me a few days but with some prayer I was able to remember how to connect with the kids and enjoy my time there rather than feeling like I was just trying to keep a machine going. I like order, I love structure, but I can forget that I am a human being and I need to be willing to be flexible. I know that I am useful to them, but I am always blown away by how useful it is to me. It can be hard to see when I am blind with tiredness and up to my elbows in dishes, but after a non-stop two weeks I got in the car to drive home and had some reflection time, and now I've been home for almost a week and have caught up on some sleep and I can now reflect on how useful such a trip is to me.

My life is not my own. And that is a good thing. I need that reminder. I need to let go of the control of my life. But how, in my day-to-day life do I let go of control but not let go of order? Children are a surefire reminder. When you're around children there is a certain amount of predictability but with a healthy dose of uncertainty. I'm not doing a good job describing it, because I am aware of the time ticking away from me and the things I need to get done in the next half hour.

For now, let me just say that children are good for me. Chaos is good for me. Strong willed children are good for me. Having a soaking wet rag flung unceremoniously from the bathtub on to me is a good thing. Deluged with water, tears and hugs is very good for me. Struggling to teach a child a job when it is far easier to just do it myself is good for me. How often does our Father look down and think "It would be easier if I just did it myself"? But He doesn't. Because He knows how useful it is for us to learn it. He can't just do it for us though that would be so much easier.

I re-see the Lord every time I interact with children. Every time I am frustrated and tired I can see in even sharper contrast the Lord's infinite patience and kindness as He lovingly encourages us on our path.

Brief Recap.

I want to write something profound, but I fear I am a little brain fried. I am sitting in the Brussels airport after a wonderful trip to Belgium. Not only Belgium! I also got to go to Germany and the Netherlands.

I can’t tell you everything we did and why because it’s not mine to tell. Ask me if you think that's too mysterious. Haha.

I biked for the first time in years! If biking in Pennsylvania was like biking in the Netherlands I would definitely bike more! I loved it and I loved “my” bike! I was a little sore after but it was worth it. Haven't exercised those muscles in forever!

I saw lots of windmills got to go inside at least 4! And Definitely got to see fields and fields of tulips! Wow! What a beautiful country The Netherlands!

Germany was a highlight! We went for only a few hours, but the pine forests smelled like my childhood! I loved the hills and the thin trees that got so dense it was pure darkness behind! The sunlight on the trees and the hills, the beautiful old houses, crisp pine scented air! Real pine!

Wallonia, the south of Belgium, was also a delight. I loved the rolling hills and clusters of flowers, and there there were blossoming fruit trees that smelled like heaven.

Before Wallonia was West Flanders. The landscape couldn’t be more different! Flat. So flat you can’t capture it in a picture! We were driving alongside a canal we were looking for but we couldn’t see it though it was only a few yards away because of how flat the landscape is. But the flat is far from boring! The landscape was dotted with yellow brick houses with red tile roofs adorned with the natural yellow-green lichens! I loved those houses!

The flatness meant that we were able to see fairly far. You could see churches from far away and as you got closer see a few houses surrounding the church, then then flat again before we approached another little village!

We also popped into France for a few hours. It's funny the way you can just pop across country borders the way we move freely between states in the U.S.

All in all a lovely trip and I will have to write more soon!

English Isn’t My First Language

Not being able to speak the language(s) of the country you’re visiting can be extremely isolating. In Brussels I didn’t notice it so much because though we were in an apartment with another girl from Norway she spoke very good English. A lot of people in Brussels speak English. I think a lot of people in West Flanders also speak English but I just really wish that I spoke Dutch. I have to say, I am not proud to be an American.

Q: What do you call someone who speaks 3 languages?
A: Tringual.
Q: What do you call someone who speaks 2 languages?
A: Bilingual.
Q: What do you call someone who speaks 1 language?
A: American.

I know a few Dutch words. And I know what even fewer Dutch words mean. I see words on signs and I’m like “I know that word! But I don’t know what it means.” And because I can barely form a sentence it feels insulting to try. I’m just another loud American tourist disturbing this beautiful county. But everyone we have met has been kind and has spoken a bit of English and has not seemed annoyed by us. It is just myself who feels shame for not being able to speak their language.

But there is a language here, and most places, that I understand. On Sunday we drove to Dunkirk and went to Catholic Mass at St Eloi. Did I understand the words the children sang? The words we were invited to sing? The words of the priest? It was French. I know a handful of French words, but got almost nothing from the words I heard. But I heard more than the words. About 20 children took their first communion on Sunday. I am not catholic, but I understood the children’s declarations of faith. I understood the people around me kneeling. I understood the voices singing to the Lord.

That evening we went to another Catholic Mass in De Panne, Belgium. Another language. This time I picked out a few words of the sermon and recognized the Lord’s Prayer immediately when we started saying it. But it wasn’t the words that spoke to me but the people around me. A smaller service than the St Eloi by far, but just as touching.

In Catholic Mass you are only offered the bread, not the wine, something I don’t understand and want to read more about. But I understood the tears of the woman in front of me as she took the bread of communion.

Wherever you are in the world there is fellowship if you look for it. Indeed, I felt more at home with the people of St Eloi and The Chapelle Royale than I would among many English speaking people. I spoke the same language as the people around me. They are not of the same religion as me, but they don’t need to be: they are worshipping the Lord!