13 Drafts

I have 13 drafts on my blog. Because once again I have decided I can't publish a post without it being meaningful and thought provoking. The problem is that I have lots I want to say but I keep not saying it right so I don't write anything. Cause that's the way to get better at anything; thinking in your brain about how everything has to be perfect before action.

So I have discovered that I suck at taking action. Whether it be writing, practicing ukulele, drawing, painting, or any number of things. It's easier to think about it than actually do it. And I don't want to get things wrong so I overthink and underact.

Thinking IS useful. And reading and gathering information, even when it doesn't always feel that way.

I read the Word every day, but I don't often feel like I'm learning anything. I'm also reading TCR and while it can be mind-blowing and inspiring to read, I don't often feel like there is actionable stuff in it for me. When I brought this up at a doctrinal class our minister pointed out that what we are doing is building a framework that everything else rests on and he compared it to med-school where students learn about every aspect of the human body and while a lot of it is not going to be practical information it is nevertheless building a framework for all the hands-on stuff they will be doing.

It made me think of this passage from Matthew Chapter 22:37-40:

And Jesus said to him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God in thy whole heart, and in thy whole soul, and in thy whole mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang the whole Law and the Prophets.

I have known, from my childhood that I am supposed to love the Lord and the neighbor. But HOW does one love the Lord and the neighbor? That is where everything else comes in. And everything in the Word and Heavenly Doctrine is teaching us how to love the Lord and each other. It is a complex web of knowledge that keeps getting added to. It is an ever growing framework.

Another biblical analogy would be a tree. The roots, the branches and the leaves are useful, but the Lord tells us to bear fruit. We must have the knowledge or the branches for the fruit to grow on.

I love studying the Word, even when I don't get it all at once. If I did, I guess I wouldn't have to read it again. It is living. It is constant.