Under The Bridge Where I Used To Sit

Under the bridge where I used to sit,

It flowed so loudly, and now I hear its quietness.

I hear the same familiar sounds, but there are new ones too.

I hear the quiet whispers of gentler waters.

Was it always this quiet, but I just couldn't hear it?

I am listening now.



I took a few moments to try to write rhymes

But the words want to flow like the waters beside me.

There is structure in a creek, but sometimes it cuts a wider path,

Never minding if it’s doing things right.

I want to mind. I want to get things right.

But I also want to be the water that is so full it can’t be contained by a mere creek bed.



Under the bridge where I used to sit.

There is so much more for me than the mud under my feet.

The creek has more than the mud it glides over.

I am full of that life, but only if I choose it.

Instead I sit in my troubles, unable to hear.

I am listening now.



I am reminded of a song,

but the waters weren’t the ones who were troubled,

I was.

I was on the bridge looking down at calm waters.

But I could not hear them over the pounding of my heart.

Now I am still. I am closer.



Under the bridge where I used to sit

I hear the quietest sounds of the water as well as the loud.

Who knew a creek of barely a few feet could hold so much depth?

The water is truth, cutting its way, raging - now flowing gently.

I am listening now. I am listening.

Speak Lord.

Why me?

Sometimes in a pickle we find ourselves asking "Why me?"

Why did this have to happen to me?

Do you ever ask yourself, "Why not me?" It's kinda the same question. But I mean it flipped.

We do often look at misfortune befalling another and one of two things could happen. You could say "Why did that have to happen to such a wonderful person?!"  but you could also say, "Glad it wasn't me!"

I don't think of myself as a masochist or wanting anything bad to befall me, but sometimes I look at a friend and genuinely wish that the bad thing had happened to me instead.

Example: My friend got cancer. She's married with two small kids. I genuinely wish that I had gotten cancer instead of her. Maybe it's weird, but she has a beautiful life, and while I do love my life, I don't have two small kids who I now cannot even pick up and hold.

In short, I'm expendable and she's not. That might seem harsh and like a terrible thing to say about myself, and I don't mean it quite as badly as all that. Maybe the truth is that I should not view myself as expendable. I should realize my value to this world, and I do, at times.

But this isn't meant to be a depressing post. I just wish that sometimes I could take the fatigue or sickness from a friend so that they could go on and power through the hardships of their life! How do I take some of the burden from my friends so that they can go forward in strength?